Now say after me with rounded lips,
The schwas and aitches in the proper way,
Make sure you stick to established standards,
And never make a mistake, never do it.
English is ours and we’ll tell you all
Exactly how to use it and teach it to all,
We have scholars like you can never have
And it is our language, in case you forgot.
You foolish good-for-not-a-things
You thought we let you have an English of your own?
Ha! The thought of it. Beware, don’t usurp
What is only ours. We stand all, hand-in-glove
And attempt to sell to you what we think
Is best for you. Do you have any idea
About how to go about it, without our holding you by the hand
And letting you see the marvels of our land and tongue?
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